I think someone said there was a lunar eclipse tonight I dunno, I could be mistaking. I do believe there's a full moon though. I haven't checked but I'd almost bet on it. It's been a crazy sad day.
My 1st cousin Stephen (Batman) Chaffins died today. Well, it's after midnight so it was technically yesterday morning. Anyway, he overdosed on pills. Hydrocodone and Xanax. No one but his wife Tammy knows if it was intentional or not but she'll never tell because just a few hours ago she was found dead in front of the TV with his empty pill bottles on the floor next to her, that was just filled March 1st.
They had been married less than a month.
God have mercy on their souls.
I have to go and be there for them because they are closer to me than any of my other family members and I think the world of them. Stephen didn't have any life insurance and I've been asked to help raise some money for the funeral and burial. I was also reminded that when my father passed away and he had no life insurance, they stepped in and took care of everything. And they did, even a head stone. And I appreciated it even though I didn't ask for it. I would have handled things if I had been asked or given the chance. But I wasn't. I was told, everything was under control. Not to worry about it.
I'm scared to death. I don't know what to do or how to start. I have trouble asking for money for myself, let alone someone else. God, that sounds selfish but I don't mean it to be. I'm not good with people and begging makes it worse.
It was suggested that I have a Hot Dog sale and donate the proceeds but I don't know. I don't have but like $100 to my name and I haven't bought any of my own supplies and food items.
Any and all suggestions would be appreciated.
I know I'm not gonna make enough to pay for the entire cost of things but I would like to get at least my money and $100 or more. Gosh, Hot Dogs, buns, chili and fixings for at least 200 people, that's a lot of money. Anybody got a calculator?
I just keep thinking, two people dead, their souls most likely condemned to Hell, all over a pill, a high.
It's sad. And the sadder part is this makes the third person to die in the same rental lot withinthe past two years.
And Stephens left behind a young son who is now Fatherless all for nothing other than a selfish act.
:(....
I'm wore out and I haven't even started.
Do I sound as cold and selfish as I think I do?
8 comments:
omg! Lahoma, that is so terrible and so sad, what a waste of life...No you do not sound at all cold or selfish! you are full of fear and worry and life goes on, you have to provide for your family first and foremost. I wonder, could all the family donate x amount each towards the funerals? You are not begging! Bless them for taking care of your dads funeral, maybe this will encourage people to donate some money...Linda xx
I can't believe that your family is guilting you into this!!!! That aside, in Ohio, as part of the obituary, they had something like "Memorial donations may be made to the family." They say that asking for money like that isn't appropriate but I see it done all of the time, so I wouldn't worry about it.
Can your family donate money for the supplies for the fund-raiser? How about talking to a local church for help?
I've seen a lot of people do things like pancake breakfasts or spaghetti dinners as fund-raisers. The latter....they usually have spaghetti, small salad, and a dinner roll. They usually charge around $6 to $8 per dinner.
Hope this helps.
I also want to say that I'm very sorry for your loss. All of this stuff with the funeral aside, it is very tragic and even more so that they leave behind a child. Drugs aren't worth it.
Love and hugs,
Sheila
First of all I'm sorry for your loss, contact their local newspaper and have them run a human story on their passing, in the article they could mention that funds are neededf or a proper burial, ask your county office (start with the morgue) on what to do if their aren't any funds for a burial, contact local funeral homes and ask for discount services due to lack of funds....there is something that is referred to as a paupers burial and the county picks up the tab, usually with no marker though (head stone) also contact local churches, they have emergency funds for instances like this and they usually waive the 'donation fee' for their services. I don't know how I know all this, but I hope it will give you soe ideas.
Oh My goodness, I am just shocked!
Lahoma, I am so sorry. I know how hard you tried to have a relationship with your family, and you seemed to get pretty tight with Batman.
This is just tragic. I am here for you, if you wanna talk.
We can brainstorm some ways to make money, if ya want to. Let me know sweetie, ANYTIME.
If I were you, I would start by calling your local township trustee. They are the ones who put your request for a free burial through. Its not a funeral, but they will bury your cousin, then, ya'll can have a fundraiser for the headstone, and a memorial service or something. You all could call a local radio station and possibly get them behind you to do a benefit concert, or a benefit of some sort to raise money. Dont be afraid to ask for money. YOU ARENT BEGGING. YOU ARE ASKING FOR HELP, FOR SOMETHING THAT MOST OF US ARE NEVER PREPARED FOR FINANCIALLY, OR OTHERWISE. You just get on that phone and call and say what it is that you want or need, and keep it in the back of your mind that, "THEY CANT EATCHA" ;)
I Love you my friend, I am sorry this has happened.
Kim.
Lahoma,
I don't know how it is there, but here the local banks will start a charity account and post the details in the drive through window and at the teller windows...It would definately be worth checking out...Also go to local churches, and Lions clubs, etc...One of my nieces's boyfriend died of an anurism of the brain and he had no insurance and my sister put donation cans at all th elocal bars and pubs also...and she got more money from there than anywhere! Don't be ashamed to ask any organization, bank, chuch, bar, grocery store...the more the better.
In the end...just do the best you can....and I want you to know that I am so sorry Lahoma....
love ya,
carlene
p.s.
what will become of his child?
Oh heavens, I am so sorry for your loss. How sad for you all.
Dawn A Couple of Nomads
I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR OF YOUR LOSS LAHOMA. THAT IS SO TRAGIC! YOU NEED SOME HELP HONEY. WAS IT LAID ALL ON YOU? I DON'T THINK YOU'RE THE ONE BEING SELFISH HERE AT ALL. AND YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL "OBLIGATED" OVER YOUR DAD PASSED AWAY. WHOEVER "REMINDED" YOU OF THAT.....ARE THEY HELPING TOO? THEY SHOULD BE. I'M SORRY YOU FEEL HELPLESS AND DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START. THAT'S NOT FAIR TO YOU OR TO ANY ONE INDIVIUAL. YOU DO NOT SOUND COLD AND SELFISH. WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE LITTLE BOY? AND DID THAT WOMAN TAKE HER LIFE BECAUSE STEPHEN DID?
GOD LOVE YOUR HEART SWEETIE!!
LOVE YOU,
LISA
Are you ok. Miss you. Dawn
A Couple of Nomads
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